battling misanthropy

It’s not at all hard to be misanthropic today because it’s plain to see that most human beings don’t care about each other or about other sentient beings all that much, let alone about what Daoists beautifully call the “ten thousand things.” Industrial civilization has ravaged the planet in only 250 years, causing global temperatures […]

via ‘It’s Not At All Hard To Be Misanthropic Today…’ — Andrew James Taggart, Practical Philosopher, Ph.D.

Difficulties can’t break me

There exists in us a spirit that can only be quenched by some form of success.   You’ll find there’s a bit of magic in our dreams.  I’m making the statement which I find to be true, whatever you put your mind to not only is this possible but you’ll find that the main idea in mind will have an overpowering effect over all other things.  The key is never swaying from what you deem to be the right thing.  People won’t often wish you success.  People are always caught up in their own ideas.  Social power doesn’t mean anything more than staying on top of the trends.  Many times the end result is completely meaningless.  The important thing is that at some stage in our lives we’re all supposed to feel relevant to our circumstances.  This is where an idea maker can become inspirational.  If you trust your guts your getting somewhere.  If you’re looking at somebody else you’ll get nowhere.  Your heart is the main influence of your existence and the mind and body act out what your heart is looking for.  That is if the mind and body are feeling healthy.  You’d be surprised how far a strong heart can stray from it’s path if the mind and body have been influenced otherwise.  Most often there has come into a persons life an amount of fear that is more or less taking control.  We all want to be loved are do we feel loved if we are afraid?  Sometimes it takes a little bit of time nurturing the spirit on it’s own terms.  This is the stage of my development.  My mind and body are incredibly healthy but I don’t feel well at all.  Some would say I’ve got the blues.  If you want to break it down my mind and body can achieve anything, yet still there’s a massive blockage in my heart.  Since I’ve come out of mental illness I’ve recognized that it’s important not only to me but the people I love to be honest.  I don’t want to hear how common all of my problems are.  I know what gave me my problems and believe me that is not common.  It’s still hard to come by a safe place to let go of some of these problems but that’s been improving.  Believe it or not we’re all connected to each other and this world is a better place if you’re able to admit that.  But that’s where everything goes haywire.  An intelligent person will tell you never let them drag you down.  A younger man is stubborn, but THEM I would say, we were all one before all this madness came into my life.  It’s a little bigger than that, first we say the world is going to change when they see this, then again if the whole world didn’t have any secrets we would hardly be feeling one with it.  My inspiration!  A whole wide vast world to spend my days teaching the greater vibrations of love and kindness, ascension and discovery.  If we all try to respect each other it will often create a divide.  Which is why and for to a seemingly limited view, for generations, the past has always been the past and the more we condition ourselves to love and forgive the fewer limits there are in our ability to love and nurture the spirit to new heights.

A boost

The difficulty for living life without regrets can affect any of us.  After a bad choice a person can look at the process they were using to understand their circumstances.  It could be that the case of this mistake was a nasty circumstance or a faulty thinking process.  Life is sort of taken in day by day and without an opportunity to take in the entire outlook of a a circumstance or regular or an unusual one, a person may become numb or unaware of the road they are on.  We all make mistakes and a great attribute of the individual is to learn from their mistakes.  Coming by difficult times we are apt to look at the people around us.  This does not produce a strong result for me personally.  If I take a minute to re-evaluate my situation and take responsibility for my wrongs I’m left with a new situation.  This situation could be like others I’ve been in or completely new.  The power of your mind with consideration to the truth and a good attitude is a good starting ground if you’ve made a choice in life that you regret.  We’re constantly facing the same problem, should I make my own choices, I know I’ve been wrong.  The answer is never easy, perhaps there is a thing that makes you feel well, using your body (exercise), reading a book, taking a walk.  Find an outlet for your difficult emotions, in other words find something that makes you happy.  It’s your choice how you want to react to your environment.  Remain calm, and be positive.  In other words if the first time you try to take your bad choices in, try to remember the simple things that are easy to manage.  It’s always relieving to the self if you don’t completely wash away the person you are if you’ve made a mistake.  Once you’ve made that choice comes the often hard to come by process of self-realization.  Almost like a reality check.  Take a minute to appreciate how far you’ve come, you are you nobody can change that.  It’s a self-consolation the prize goes to the winner, yourself.  If you are able to manage your emotions, and you can still with confidence pick up the pieces, if your heart or mind are confused you’ve proven to yourself that you’re still aware of the outcome of your choice.  The next thing is simply reminding yourself what gives you the good chemicals in the brain.  Lot’s of oxygen, or prana, exercise and something that will keep you busy throughout the rest of the day.  Once these things are in use your making a step in the right direction.  Don’t dwell on the negative things in your life.  Take a step forward and re-compose your thinking process to make sure that you are going in the direction that your mind, body and soul are designed for.  Appreciate the little things that still haven’t changed, and look forward to a new perspective in life.  Oh and don’t eat the elephant just a spoonful at a time.

What can I do for you?

The system is a riddle.  It’s easy to find but it will ruin your mind.  It’s a trick, why so indifferent.  Death isn’t so pretty never take a blind risk.  It’s not that easy to face adversity.  It begins with empathy.  Live to be healthy.  Have faith seek kindness.  Regard the beauty of the lesson in this.  Life is beautiful this true for you?  I fight to be real is this so mentally difficult?  Pride is great if your proud of yourself and none other.  Though the system is corrupt and even the things I’ve said and challenges I’ve tried to overcome there’s a song in my heart and that’s where the love will flow.  I don’t know, why try and lie.  It’s not so easy for me since no one seems to be able to agree.  System flush what’s the rush let prayer do the work.  Married to my cause but I’ve got some flaws why neglect the root of all my shock.  I see it.  It’s real.  I’ve been there god I know it’s not easy, you don’t make that choice.  Reflect on the fact that I’m trying to be honest.  I have a daily practice and expect the same thing,  In time different results.

In darkness there is light

Even in darkness I still manage to see the light in some way.  I though I might die and I found this man Les Brown to be inspirational.  I’ll share one of his videos to see if it can help with the struggle.  Les can maybe help with some problems, if you’re able to admit and risk everything to be real.  You might even die for it..

 

Focus

It seems if I express my experiences to the whole community sometimes even when it makes me uncomfortable, I feel that the people who are recieving this information, they will appreciate my honesty.  The truth will make me quite uncomfortable.  To me the actions I took in life to remedy the shame and pain are pretty out of control.  The chemistry my emotions create are fake to me considering my families history and the things that they amount to.  There’s plenty of actual and real differences people I love and respect have done for not for not only me but even Canada as a nation.  It’s hard to represent a shame I had no control over and if coming out feels fake and hollow it’s not going to happen.  In truth I can’t change what’s happened in my past.  As I see it there was a lot of justice in my world to balance out the difficulties I was in.  The act of putting my life and perspective in focus is part of a daily effort for honesty.  As I’ve said in my journal, it’s not easy to allow people with less integrity to latch on.  This still occurs.  It’s a mental relapse if my weaknesses are known at these times.  It’s pretty simple for me you have to be able to keep up or you will be lost.  This seems out of focus.  It’s a paradigm, can I include everyone and remain in focus?  It seems like this is my problem.  I’ve conditioned myself to be strong about a lot of the difficult experiences in my life.  If I have to lower my standards to absolute ZERO to find the truth, personally I’m prepared to start again.  This is a bit of faith.  I start again quite regularily.  If at first you can’t succeed try try again.  When you value honesty and integrity it seems I’m on the run from all of my problems.  If you keep things on the level there is really no shame in the realities I’m faced with. I want to try and be sensible, as I see it time heals all wounds when I was young and immature I made sure there was a lot of pressure and not very much forgiveness.  Now I know, in Canada you can put a name to the man who gave the Aboriginals the vote.  In truth my family knew this man personally.  The shame of some fouled up genes, in some ways not fully heterosexual… I took on a great deal of shame.  Now I know!  There’s a name to the Native American vote in Canada and I’m in it!  Grandpa rocked on his knee!!.  So far I’ve been trying not to take it personally.  I’ve never really had a problem with girls and though I used to fight them off I even got a little to close to the gentlemen.  Though I’m not feeling suicidal at this stage it still gives me a lot of grief.  As it goes… hanging out… Is this the bloody noose!?!  I laugh a bit a rock out with my cock out.  It’s the best I can do. ABOLISH THE DEATH PENALTY!! It’s just difficult being so quiet I wanna be able to find myself in the crowd without bearing down on all my problems quietly to myself.  I tell myself.. I can overcome this, let’s face the bloody facts.  Nobody is perfect and as much as my problems have been a secret most of my life I have to find a way to show the honesty and integrity I value to the people around me.  Society is different these days tho.  It’s an Indian joke or a young cub whose a little lost.  It got to the stage where all I needed to do was learn respect and based on the facts my reality would seem out of balance if there was no ground to stand on.  I want to feel grounded around my friends and the people I know.  As far as I can see… it seems most of my closest allies knew there was something funky… something different.  Whenever I want to feel stable on my own two I sort of end up in shock..  I risked my life to feel heterosexual time and time again… There were times I very nearly died to get all of this of my chest.  It’s a damn savage thing the way we were treating the Native Americans and in essence that is my comeback. I need security to feel confident about moving forward with all of this,  first I have accept the consequences of all the rage that built up.  Considering my mental state about the label that runs along with my insecurities I don’t feel confident saying this about myself but Momma’s boy but that’s really rude to me because Mom basically overdid it.  She went to jail in the end which is not even my problem.  The penneteniary. The fact is that still gives my confidence a boost.  I’m trying to learn to forgive but every time I try I come to conclude that she doesn’t understand me, or she doesn’t see my life the way I do.  The laws of karma send me sideways every time.  This Prime Minister we knew, also a lawyer, criminal defense.  I guess I abandoned her.  Still in truth if it’s not a healthy home you shouldn’t have expectations as high as mine were.  But I wasn’t able to accept that and I still have high expectations of myself.  Believe it or not I still don’t feel very forgiving, she didn’t even know respect and she ran from my Dad who was able to provide a healthy home.  The home in which I live in.  I learned about a ruler, Emperor Ashoka who on one hand was responsible for the deaths of many.  By the end of his rule he fully demanded equal rights for men and women and also put an end to animal cruelty.  Though nothing in my life will ever feel fully just in ways of total absolution this is a reality that I’ve come by.  You craft your own reality and in terms of mine I’m quite comfortable looking at the bright side in many difficult circumstances.  I’m really not even faking which makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach.  I’ve even puked out the shame in the form of excessive drinking.  But enough is enough.  I also learned to some alcohol is a form of control.  This doesn’t seem true at all.  I wrote this lyric.

I got to break through,  I got to break to through, keepin all my energy as a part of what I do.

This is where I am I right now.  I set myself off to break the spell of dishonesty and here I am.  I see things differently and I always will.  I have integrity about that.  The laws of karma if you have an excess even with a good thing… the consequences could become real.  I’m not monastic really I am trying to make a good thing come to be. You can in a way ‘get away’ with a lot more if your honest.  Not the way it is for some places in the world, the system is all screwed up.  You could be locked up for trying to be honest ya know?  Not so much in Canada which is for me pretty absolute.  I’m cryin my heart out but i still didn’t quit.  More like blood, sweat and tears.  I’m not givin up and I’m not fakin.  Can I forgive myself… depends.. not every time at all.  Life is lived day by day is comforting for everyone.  We’re all victims of our own sentences.. word is law.. or is it word is bond.  Is playin it straight.. to die for?  Not much integrity in that if I still consider myself to be a bit of a leader.  I figure if there’s no place to run or no safe place to be honest at least learn to suffer for it.  Suffer somehow if you can’t get it right.  I’m righteous with some problems at the best of times.  I’ve been through hell to get everything off my chest.  As I say if I show integrity I’ll be able to figure something out.  When it comes to popularity I know that if I set things straight the truth will come out at some stage of my life.  This is really the best way to straighten out!  I’ve been turned out by other forms of righteousness which is the downfall of having an ego to swoll.  Ego death is for the spiritually enlightened… or if your feeling high.  I got to learn to keep a good thing going.  I’ve been learning to meditate and I’ve noticed how imbalanced some things are.  It will take some time.  With this hip new show suicide squad the way I’m feelin… either America will build a new prison for these weasels are they’ll be turned in where they have a 1 in 4 for chance to live.  At this moment that is what I’m feeling.  If you can’t run a mile if you can’t touch your toes out of my drive in life.  As I say enough is enough.  If you want to cure disease, deal blows to someone who’s strong.  Which is true for some life, keep in mind the strong will eventually smite the weak down without enough power even to death.  Don’t even contemplate I know where I belong and it’s basically unbreakable.  The truth can shield me I suggest that we all learn respect to at least some form of history.  That way there is direction.  ‘Would you die for your pride’  I laugh.. lucky to be alive, try again.  Navigating through life and death amidst taking on someone else’s crisis creates a certain amount of reward whether or not everyone is still with you.  I’m alive what have I got to complain about.  Epinephrine is the best medicine I know I’ve felt a considerable amount throughout the years.  Why gripe about someone else’s problem if it doesn’t contribute anything to my life.

Blinded by illusion

Im so confused by a conflict that never seems easy to remedy.  At certain times I feel it’s so difficult to communicate before everything becomes muddied and out of focus.  I see the reason for my feelings but it doesn’t all add up to a resolution by the end of my argument.  Some will go to extreme measures to prove a point.  In fact it seems we’re all a little safer in our own minds if that person’s experience is the basis of their perspective.  It seems to me there is no end to the argument if we are not able to accept our differences.  Where do we begin?  It’d be hard to keep track of every little detail and in the end we’re all a little happier if we move together.  That being said the power of your own mind is more important than what anyone else is telling you.  It’s a tricky act of finding balance between unity for the people and kindness or respect for the individual.  Having the right idea when we’re trying to communicate is properly formed when we’re part of some form of community.  Community, communication, they go hand in hand.  The more dependable you become within your community the more the people will listen.  How do you voice a feeling that is against the grain?  I’ve learned that if you want to build community you have to be able to stand out against the loudmouths or those who love control.  Everybody deserves a chance to bloom in full colour.  We all have needs and if we model positivity and good ethics we are able to construct a reality that promotes good connections for happy lives.  The key is to keep everything moving faster than negative energies.  Positive vibrations resonate on a higher frequency than negative ones.  Just by giving yourself a chance you’re already going to be feeling better.  I’ll try and remember to keep everything in perspective, happiness is a choice.  So long as you can depend on yourself to find some sort of happiness your voice will be stronger with the community.  The more you practice that the stronger you’ll be.  Be strong, stay focused.

Locked in time

Time has it’s own record.  We see how things look on the outside primarily.  But truth cannot hide during certain moments in our lives.  Birth, death, love, whether or not we are aware of it our conciousness has a record of all these things in a metaphysical sense.  Are we ever able to truly feel one with this reality?  What will we become if we do not strive for understanding?  How will we ever amend the damage done?  Some of us excel while others will fail.  Some will become tangled in webs of confusion.. there was that moment when I saw, where has it all gone.  What have I become?  You’ve got to work at something in this life and the greater your determination the greater your results.  But what makes us who we really are?  Is it genetics?  Environment?  Spirit?  Is there a greater sense of truth that we are all connected to, it seems if this were true we all react differently.  What happens in the case of tragedy?  How do we trust what we will become if everyone has an opportunity to feel a greater conciousness?  Is this an issue?   Is the truth harmful or do we all feel loved when we understand ourselves?  In the end the world is very diverse and it is different for everyone.  Which is why I bring another interesting thing to question.  What is shame?  The question for me that works: Can you forgive yourself?  This is a good one we get to see quite a bit about a person when they have found that they have not done justice to their feelings.  The higher we go on the road to truth and understanding the more we find that things are easier for us all if we keep them more or less simple.  Honesty will guide us on our road to understanding.  The more we find the more it seems our potential is shorted only by a state of mind.  Not that there isn’t a limit that we all refer to on a daily basis but more that we aren’t always able to see or feel a full conciousness or understanding of our world the things in it, the things around us and our experiences.  Not everything comes easily but for the most part it’s all available if you know how to look.